CCS:
L.8.1.
Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage
when writing or speaking.
L.8.2.
Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English capitalization,
punctuation, and spelling when writing.
L.8.3. Use knowledge of language and its conventions
when writing, speaking, reading, or listening.
In my 8 grade writing class, students learn the
proper punctuation of dialogue, but I want them to go beyond that; I want them
to understand the use of dialogue and how to create valuable dialogue in their
own writing. I also want them to understand that writing a story completely in
dialogue has its limitations and usually for students, leaves out important
sensory information for the reader. So
one of the most valuable lessons I teach my students is how to create scenes.
Before we get to scenes, we examine what dialogue can reveal in a
story. Students take notes that discuss how dialogue can:
- 1. Reveal
character (their personality, their motivations, their emotional state, even
their education level, among other
things.)
- 2. Move
the story along- I’ll illustrate in a moment.
- 3. Can
reveal setting- where the characters are, where they were, where they were
going, etc.
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Two specific CCS are targeted as we move
forward to examine dialogue in mentor texts and excerpts and its importance in writing-
RL.8.1.
Cite the textual evidence that most strongly supports an analysis of what the
text says explicitly as well as inferences drawn from the text.
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RL.8.3.
Analyze how particular lines of dialogue or incidents in a story or drama
propel the action, reveal aspects of a character, or provoke a
decision.
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I use this simple example to show what dialogue
can do for a story: “Thank you so much for holding the door for
me! Second floor please. ” The dialogue reveals where the characters are
and that the character is at least a polite person at first glance. I ask
students which is more direct and to the point- the above dialogue or this:
Susan
ran toward the closing elevator as the door was closing. A hand jutted out a
the last moment ad stopped the door from
closing. She dashed in and moved to the corner thanking the man for holding the
elevator for her. She then let him know which floor she needed, asking him to
push the second floor button.
The actual dialogue is more direct and to the point-
moving the story along, it reveals
location and something about the character without needless description that
overall, is not important to the story.
We look at other dialogue examples and have a class
discussion about what each reveals about the character, setting or how it moves
the story along. Here are a few examples of what I use for this purpose:
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“Get
outta my way, ya dumb sevvie! I’m gonna
be late for algebra!” (In this example we also discuss slang and how we talk
versus proper writing. I emphasize that it’s OK to write dialogue the way you
want your character to ‘talk’.)
- ·
“Jason,
this is the fourth time you’ve missed a key free throw. Get back out there and practice until you
make ten in a row. No excuses.”
- ·
The
man took off his dark, stained hat and stood with a curious humility in front
of the screen. “Could you see your way to sell us a loaf of bread, ma’am?”
Mae
said, “This ain’t a grocery store. We got bread to make san’widges.”
“I
know, ma’am.” His humility was insistent. “We need bread and there ain’t
nothin’
for quite a piece, they say.”
“‘F
we sell bread we gonna run out.” Mae’s tone was faltering.
“We’re
hungry,” the man said.
“Whyn’t
you buy a san’widge? We got nice san’widges, hamburgs.”
“We’d
sure admire to do that, ma’am. But we can’t. We got to make a dime do all of
us.” And he said embarrassedly, “We ain’t got but a little.”
(From
The Grapes of Wrath Chapter 15)
I use excerpts from Killing Mr. Griffin and Cirque
Du Freak as well. Students enjoy reading excerpts from these young adult
novels- often reading it themselves- and we notice what the dialogue reveals
about the characters in particular in these excerpts.
From there we move on to discuss formation of
scenes, that dialogue is not often used alone in writing. A scene includes more
than just what’s said and a speaker tag. Description is used and combined with
dialogue, we create scenes.
Here’s our formula:
Dialogue +Description = a scene.
And we discuss how this is another form of “show
don’t tell”. We re-examine the above
excerpts and discuss what is being shown beyond the words. What is
described/included? Often scenes include facial expressions, gestures, tone of
voice and movement or further clues to understand the story.
Students are asked to highlight examples of each in
various excerpts and then we try our hand at creating scenes. A great story I
found online “They’re Made Out of Meat”
by Terry Bisson (Entire Story Here) is told entirely in dialogue from two
aliens’ points of view about mankind.
We
begin by reading the story and examining what the dialogue reveals about their
attitudes, their character, etc. My students are amazed at what they can tell
me about the aliens simply through the dialogue – the author is very clever in
use of dialogue to reveal so much!
The next day students are directed to partner-up,
they get the story back and are directed to take at least 4 lines of dialogue
from the story and to create scenes from it.
They really enjoy this exercise and they work together to add facial
expressions, movement and gestures among other things. Questions such as, ‘What do the aliens look
like?’ come up and we discuss what is NOT provided to the reader when only
dialogue is used. I give them free reign to design their aliens when adding
description to the words. We share our results and discuss what is effective
and what is not and we point out what has been revealed- character traits,
emotional state, does it move the story along? Etc.
Student Example:
"They're
made out of meat," the slimy green alien shouted as he oozed into the
control room of the spaceship.
"Meat?" questioned the second alien, a bushy brown creature with blue
tentacles. He did not look up, but continued to punch the buttons on the
control panel before him.
Aggravated and spurting slime, the first alien repeated, "Meat. They're
made out of meat."
Looking up with interest, the brown alien peered over his spectacles,
"Meat?" He moved to the display console and peered out at the planet
Earth.
One of the issues my 8 graders had in understanding
the story was who was talking and what they were talking about. After the
student shared his scene, we discussed how it becomes apparent from the start
of the story who they might be referring to as a result of the description
added.
You can take scenes from any story- remove the
descriptive parts and leave nothing but the dialogue and speaker tag. Have
students create scenes from the dialogue and then compare theirs to the
original.
Through examining models, annotating examples and
then trying it themselves, students develop stronger dialogue in their narratives.
In addition, we are also looking at punctuation to reinforce the mechanics of
dialogue. It is important to note that
once you add speaker tags and description, the punctuation changes and students
practice doing this as they write.
Once we have studied dialogue and the creation of
scenes, students are directed to return to their narratives and to create
scenes for their own dialogue. Many times students add dialogue, understanding
what it can do for a story as a result of our studies.
